When a Friend Fails You

Have you ever been dumped by a friend?

Maybe someone didn’t stand up for you in your time of need, or you got ditched for someone “cooler.”

This is a topic that’s been on my mind recently, and here’s why: Last year, I was deserted by a friend who I thought would always be there for me.

We had been friends since we were little; we had movie nights with our two families, laughed, had serious and meaningful conversations, and encouraged each other in our relationships with Jesus.

But suddenly, we disagreed on something—something I saw as kind of insignificant and easy to move on from. She saw it differently. To this day I’m still puzzled by the whole situation.

One disagreement can ruin years of amazing friendship? I felt abandoned, confused, and hurt.

I’m guessing some of y’all have felt the same or experienced similar situations in your friendships. What truth can we cling to as we watch a friendship get flushed down the drain?

When a Good Gift Goes Wrong

Friendships are an incredible gift God has given us. They provide community, an outlet for our ideas, thoughts, questions, and a way to encourage one another in Christ (Prov. 27:17).

In His kindness, God gives us friends to minister to, spend time with, and love; but as sinners, we mess up this perfect plan by putting our own agendas and opinions above people and their hearts.

When friendships go wrong, it’s a convenient place for Satan to sneak in and plant doubts and deception into our hearts.

  • ”You’re not good enough or worthy of their friendship anymore!”
  • “Well, now you’re all alone. Everyone is abandoning you. The world is against you.”
  • “What’s wrong with me?!”

Sister, let me tell you a few things about the enemy that you hopefully already know:

But you don’t have to yield to his attacks. God has provided Truth to fight these lies, so let’s look at it.

3 Friendship Truths to Remember

1. Humans fail.

We’re on dangerous ground when we start placing people in our lives on an imaginary pedestal, thinking they are above ever failing us or making big mistakes. No person can hold that position in our lives without disappointing us, and no human being was meant to fill that place.

In the friendship I mentioned earlier, I had the skewed idea that my friend would never fail me, but in Jeremiah, God says, “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength” (Jer. 17:5). As human sinners, we’re fallible. While there are probably many trustworthy people in your life, you shouldn’t place all of your faith in them because they can trip and stumble, just like you and me.

Only God can be our steady, never failing, ever faithful Friend.

2. We might need a wake-up call.

When we elevate a person in our lives to that pedestal or assume they’ll always be there for us and suddenly they fail us, it serves as a good wake-up call.

Any time a friend or family member seems to desert you, allow that time to serve as a reminder that God is the only friend who will never leave or abandon you.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24).

3. We have the freedom to keep on loving!

Y’all, this is a truth that has brought such freedom and clarity to my life, and it can change your life, too!

It’s this simple: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

When a friend has abandoned us, when someone we thought would always be there has walked out of our lives, we can still love them!

Our love for others doesn’t depend on what they’ve done to us, said to or about us, or how they’ve treated us; we love simply because Jesus loved us (1 John 4:7–21).

How freeing is that? To realize that we don’t have to base our love on people’s actions but can simply love others because of what Christ has done for us! And we can also forgive others when they’ve hurt us, because Christ has forgiven us.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Eph. 4:32).

Have you had friendship struggles? How has God used that in your life for good? I’d love to hear in the comments!

About Author

As a Jesus-follower, blog-loving writer, and coffee-drinker, Liza is constantly looking for new ways to inspire and encourage other young women in their walk with Christ. She recently launched a hand lettering company and blog of her own (BriarberryType.com), and lives in the sunny hill country of Texas where she's in a band with her three brothers.

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