What’s Your Secret?

We girls are rock stars when it comes to hiding our brokenness.

We’re so good at hiding our “stuff” that a girl could be dying inside, struggling with sin and shame, thinking she’s the only one who could possibly struggle with something so gross, or stupid, or embarrassing, or unforgivable. No one would know it to look at her, of course. She puts on her “it’s all good” face, plays sports, serves at church, gets good grades, and goes on missions trips. She might be the girl on the worship team or your best friend. On the surface she seems to have it all together. But inside . . . she has secrets. And her secrets are killing her.

Freedom is possible! Whether you’ve been suffering in silence for a week or a decade, you’re never too far for God’s grace.

Secrets . . . Maybe she tries to numb life’s pain with a razor blade or pill. Or she starves herself. Or maybe she tries to satisfy a craving with masturbation, or fill a longing for love with a same-sex relationship. Whatever her secret—shocking or not—she feels trapped by it. She’s a silent sufferer: a girl too embarrassed to get help because she’s afraid of what people would think if they “knew.” So she goes on sinning, and suffering, and shaming herself in silence.

Know anyone like that?

I do. That girl? She was me. By day I was team captain. Student government president. “Girl of the Year.” Youth group regular. But when no one was looking, I was a shame-filled, crippled mess. My self-imposed labels stuck good and tight, superglued to my heart with a big does of shame: sick-o, dirty girl, hypocrite. For thirteen years I went on sinning and suffering in silence with a sexual addiction and stints with disordered eating.

I thought I was the only one. But I was wrong.

Turns out there were, and are, tons of girls just like me. Girls who are trapped by sin and shame, and who are just waiting for someone to break the silence and let them know that there is hope. That freedom is possible.

So I’m going first.

I’ve written a new book called Unashamed: Overcoming the Sins No Girl Wants to Talk About, and it’s the most vulnerable book I’ve ever written. In it, I share my story of secret sin on page one, with the hopes that my honesty will give you the courage to face your own struggles head on.Unashamed cover

It’s time to break the silence and start talking about the sin that holds us captive. It’s time for us to get honest and real and stop pretending like we aren’t drowning. It’s time for us to break the chains of shame that Satan has cleverly wrapped around our ankles so we can get back to living in the freedom Jesus died to give us! And I want to take that journey with you.

If you struggle with a secret sin like cutting, an eating disorder, sexual sin, substance abuse, or same-sex relationships, this book was written for you. Check out Unashamed.Link where you’ll find info about the book, a short video, plus a link to other resources to help you get started on your journey toward freedom. You don’t have to waste another day feeling hopeless and alone. Freedom is possible! Whether you’ve been suffering in silence for a week or a decade, you’re never too far for God’s grace.

Chances are, even if you’re not caught up in a secret sin yourself, you know someone who is. Here are a couple ideas to offer someone hope without making it awkward:

  • Live a life that encourages others to be open and honest with you. The best way to do that is to be open and honest about your own struggles (whatever they may be), and to avoid a judgmental attitude.
  • Share these Pinterest images, or the book trailer on social media.
  • Ask your youth pastor if you can do a girls’ small group study through the book. It’s a great way to break the ice about potentially embarrassing topics without singling anyone out.

Are you ready to break the silence?

I want to know:

  • Do you think it’s true that more girls than ever are struggling with “secret sins”?
  • Why do you think that is?
  • Why do you think so many of us hide our secrets instead of getting help?

PS: Be sure to hop back on the blog tomorrow to learn how to get free from “secret sins” and again on Friday for a chance to win a free copy of Unashamed.

About Author

Jessie Minassian is a speaker, blogger, and the author of ten books and Bible studies, including Crushed, Unashamed, and Backwards Beauty. She is the "resident big sis" at LifeLoveandGod.com, a Q&A website for teen girls. Her work for teens and their parents has been featured internationally through outlets such as Focus on the Family, Parenting Today’s Teens, She Reads Truth, Axis, Revive Our Hearts and YouthWorker Journal. She and her husband live and serve at Hume Lake Christian Camps in California, and have two daughters.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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