Truth for the Good Girl

I’m her. I’m the good girl.

The girl who was born into a Christian home. The girl who memorized John 3:16 as soon as she could speak. The girl who never went through a rebellious stage. The girl who never had a boyfriend in high school. The
girl whose peers’ parents hoped their own daughters would hang out with.

Yep, that’s me. The good girl.

I’m not bashing my good-girl-ness, and I’m not boasting in it either. I’m just telling you that it’s my story.

Because here’s the other side of the good girl coin. (And if you’re a good girl, you can probably relate.) Somehow, along the journey of life, the enemy creeps in and begins feeding us good girls a bunch of lies.

Lies like:

  • Your worth is found in your goodness.

  • You’d better keep up that good girl reputation.

  • You better not commit a “major” sin or you will be worthless.

  • What would people think of you if you did anything wrong?

  • Jesus died for you, but only because you were already good.

  • Your identity is found in your behavior.

  • You are more valuable than other girls because you are pure and

On and on the list goes. . .

As a good girl, I’ve lived under the weight of those lies. I believed that somehow my worth and identity was defined by my goodness. This left me terrified to make mistakes and shatter my good girl persona. I was carrying around a burden and weight that God never intended for me to carry.

Thankfully, one warm summer day, God opened my eyes.

The weight of my non-goodness hit me square between the eyes. My heart felt heavy and burdened. At twenty-four years old, I was beginning to see my sin and brokenness in a whole new way. And it you know what? It was freeing.

God’s gift of salvation was beginning to make sense. Although I’d believed and received Jesus Christ early on in life, this was a monumental turning point for my relationship with God.

Instead of trying to keep up my goodness and finding my worth in it, I more fully understood why Jesus died for me. Jesus didn’t give up His life for me because I was perfect; He gave it up because I was broken. Jesus knows I need grace and mercy. Suddenly I knew I needed grace and mercy, too.

God helped me see that I no longer needed to maintain my goodness to maintain my worth. I was fully loved by Jesus in spite of my sin.

This might sound basic to some of you, but it really hit me in a new way that afternoon. My prayer is that this blog might hit some of you in a new way, too. I want to take some time to share five truths that I believe
every good girl needs to hear.

Five Truths for the Good Girl

1. There are no good girls.

They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one (Ps. 14:3).

“None is righteous, no, not one” (Rom. 3:10).

Our standard for determining if we are good is not the other girls around us. It is Jesus Christ, our holy, perfect Savior. His standard of holiness is so high, none of us can measure up. Because we all sin and fall short of
the glory of God (Rom. 3:23), none of us deserve the good girl label.

2. Christ died for you, a sinner.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved
us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with
Christ—by grace you have been saved (Eph. 2:4–5).

Jesus didn’t come to save perfect people. He came to save lost, hurting, broken, and needy people.

Jesus didn’t come to save perfect people. He came to save lost, hurting, broken, and needy people. Deep down we know that’s us.

He didn’t pay a partial price for you; He paid the full price. He paid the entire debt of our sin on the cross. We don’t need to earn our salvation; Christ did that over 2,000 years ago.

3. We’ve got nothing to prove.

He made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the
righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21).

Jesus is perfect. We are not. Let’s stop trying to show Him that we are “worthy.” Instead of trying to earn our worth or prove our goodness, let’s just accept His goodness. Let’s joyfully and freely bask in His love and
goodness toward us. We can stop trying to find our identity in our goodness and finally accept the new identity He’s given to us.

4. Express gratitude for God’s gift of salvation.

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Ps. 103:1–5).

Take some time to just stop and thank God for His amazing gift of salvation. Our God is so compassionate and gracious toward us. He loves us so much. He gave everything for us.

The more we focus on Him, the less we will focus on ourselves. The more we thank Him for what He did for us on the cross, the less we are able to convince ourselves that grace is something we could ever earn with our

5. Reject all of the lies from the enemy.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

The enemy is a liar (John 8:44).

Looking back, I can see that his lies led me to live under the weight of my own goodness. Since the Garden of Eden, he has warped the truth about our identity. He does not want us to find freedom in Jesus or to see our sin for what it really is.

Let’s be on guard and watch for the lies. Let’s reject anything that does not line up with Scripture. Don’t allow Satan to hold you to a standard that God does not hold you to.

Good Girls, Let’s Surrender

We are all broken sinners in need of a Savior.

If you consider yourself to be a good girl, I hope and pray you surrender that title to Jesus. None of us are truly good girls. We are all broken sinners in need of a Savior. The more we truly understand the gospel and our need for Jesus, the more free we will become. The less we try to maintain a certain image, the more we will embrace our new identity as a child of God who has been given grace we do not deserve.

Let’s surrender our good girl identity to Jesus. Instead, may we embrace our identity as a daughter of God and walk in the grace and mercy that He daily offers us.

Do I have any good girls out there?
How many of you have identified yourself as a good girl?
How does the gospel transform this label?

About Author

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog ( and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

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