Sick Hearts and Ten-Foot Poles

One of the things I love about the readers of this blog is that you ask great questions! Here’s an example: “Anonymous” recently brought up some great questions about our stance on guys. Here’s part of what she wrote.

Are we never supposed to think about guys? What about when there is a guy in our life who is pursuing us? Are we supposed to tell him, “Oh, sorry, I can’t make a decision on whether or not to marry you because I can’t spend any time thinking about you . . .” This LYWB blog makes it seem like men are to be avoided like the plague. I don’t understand it. It very well could be that I am unclear on what you meant. But I can’t recall anywhere in God’s Word where it commands women never to think of men or even not to be attracted to them or to have a crush on them. I thought that was how God created us.

Anonymous (I wish I knew her real name!) really got me thinking . . .

What does the Bible say, exactly, about how we should think about, act toward, and feel about guys?

It’s good to be reminded that romance is God’s idea. The Bible never calls us to dodge guys like the plague or avoid touching romance with a ten-foot pole.

But the Bible does send one clear message.

Wait for God’s timing. (Here’s a post from our archives that might help you understand that a little better.)

Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!”

Can’t you hear the urgency in the psalmist’s voice? Wait for God. I know it takes courage, but be brave! Stick to God’s plan. If you don’t know what that is yet, keep waiting.

This is true for all things, of course. We should always let God lead our steps in every area of our lives. But while it’s never easy to wait for God’s direction, it can be especially tough when it comes to love.

The Bible tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jer. 17:9).

Here’s the edavis paraphrase:

Your heart will flat out lie to you, girl.
It will make you so sick with love you won’t know which end is up.
Don’t use your heart as a compass.

Since your heart can’t be trusted, you might not be able to figure out who is God’s best for you. Since your feelings can make you sick, it might be hard to realize if you’re looking for love outside of God’s timing.

But you’ve got to keep reading to get to the good stuff.

“I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds” (Jer. 17:10).

You may not be able to figure out what or who is best for you when it comes to love, but God can. That’s why we want to constantly be driving you toward Him and His Word when it comes to guys and romance.

No, the Bible doesn’t say to avoid guys, and romance isn’t a bad thing. Quite the opposite! Love that leads to marriage in God’s timing can be a huge gift. But waiting can be tough. It’s our goal to help you wait well and give you plenty of opportunities to focus on God’s will for your love and life, because we know there are lots of voices telling you to let your heart lead the way.

What are you waiting on the Lord for these days?
Can you think of times when your heart lied to you?

About Author


Erin Davis is an author, blogger, and speaker who loves to see women of all ages run to the deep well of God’s Word. She is the author of many books and Bible studies including: 7 Feasts, Connected, Beautiful Encounters, and the My Name Is Erin series. She serves on the ministry team of Revive Our Hearts. When she’s not writing, you can find Erin chasing chickens and children on her small farm in the Midwest.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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