Unicorn Man: noun. A man who is believed to be flawless in every way, shape, and form. Ideal companion, lacking nothing.
The other day I was talking to a girlfriend about relationships and all the stress that girls seem to go through when trying to figure out if someone is “the one.” Suddenly, my friend looked up and said, “It’s like everyone’s waiting on a Unicorn Man—perfect in every way.” That was the moment this blog post was born.
Are you waiting on the perfect guy? You know, a guy who knows what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and is basically Jesus in a boyfriend’s body. Don’t we all dream of marrying someone who is awesome in every way, shape, and form? Even though I’m a guy, I can answer that: Yes, we do! But I’ve got bad news for everyone . . .
They’re not out there. The Unicorn Man who is perfect in every way doesn’t exist. (Neither does the Unicorn Woman.) There’s no perfect guy out there who will know the right thing to say and do all the time.
The Unicorn Man who is perfect in every way doesn’t exist.
When I was presented with this idea of a Unicorn Man, it made perfect sense. I know so many young women who appear to struggle with waiting on the perfect guy who fits the mold for “the one.” And although it’s true that no one will ever measure up to perfection, I have a lot of great guy friends who will make great husbands.
So that prompted me to ask myself, What truly makes a great man? That question drove me to God’s Word, where I dove into a host of character qualities and characteristics that the Bible says marks a great man. Here are a few of them.
A great man is a man of prayer.
I desire then that in every place the men should pray (1 Tim. 2:8).
A great man follows the Lord’s wishes and commands out of a love for Christ.
“I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies” (1 Kings 2:2–3).
A great man thinks things through.
Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature (1 Cor. 14:20).
A great man seeks counsel, accepts counsel, and surrounds himself with wise friends.
For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory (Prov. 24:6).
A great man runs from sin and toward Christ.
But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness (1 Tim. 6:11).
These are just a smattering of passages having to do with the characteristics of a great man. One thing to keep in mind, though, as you get your Bible out and read through some of these verses, is that some guys will be stronger in one area than another. So I might be great at seeking counsel but not so great at consistently being a man of prayer. That’s okay.
What you want in a guy is a persistent pursuit toward growth in godliness.
Perfection isn’t an option, for any of us. What you want in a guy is a persistent pursuit toward growth in godliness. That is what is crucial in any great man’s life. David, Abraham, and Moses, for example, all failed in different areas but also accomplished amazing things for the Lord. Their lives were marked with a consistent pursuit of relationship with Him before and after their failures. Failure isn’t fatal. It’s just something we need to overcome to continue growing in our Christ-likeness.
Ladies, please stop searching for the Unicorn Man. Instead of setting standards that are humanly impossible to reach, set a standard that measures up to biblical manhood. Our version of a perfect Unicorn Man or Woman isn’t out there. Redefine the definition of a Unicorn Man, and look for a man who isn’t perfect, but who is pursuing the Lord in every way, shape, and form.
- What would you add to the list that’s an important quality in a great man? (Preferably taken from Scripture.)
- What’s something you admire in a man currently in your life (whether it’s a family member or friend) that’s something you can encourage him in?
- Finally, why is a “Unicorn Man” man mentality dangerous to relationships?
PS: For more verses about what godly manhood looks like, check out Titus 1:7–9. It lists qualifications for an elder or spiritual leader. Apply them to any guy who’s interested in you.
PPS: For more on this topic, check out this post from our archives: “The Jesus Standard.”