Mix & Match Girl, Marathon Girl, and Monument Girl

Last month I was asked to speak to teen girls like you at Bair Lake Bible Camp about biblical womanhood.

I want to share one part of my message with you today—the part where I talk about three of the biblical womanhood counterfeits, frauds, and fakes. I should know, because I’ve been all three at one time or another in my life.

The Mix & Match Girl
The Mix & Match Girl believes she can have it both ways—the world’s way and the Word’s way—it won’t hurt anything.

I fell for that lie in my early teens. At the time, I knew the gospel story by heart and I would have told you I believed it, but there was a major disconnect between my head and my heart. Can you relate? 

While I looked good on the outside, I didn’t have a loving, personal relationship with God. So I started playing mix and match. You can read a little bit about my Mix & Match escapades here.

Girls, it’s a lie that you can have it both ways. That you can mix and match. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 asks, "What fellowship has light with darkness?"

Can you mix light and dark? Are they at all compatible? Of course not. And if you have been born again, you are now a new creation. Light. God didn’t die for you so you could just play at being a Christian—He wants to transform you from the inside out!

Are you acting like a Mix & Match Girl? God says there are only two options. You are either a slave of Christ or a slave of sin. You can’t have it both ways.

The Marathon Girl
The Marathon Girl says, "I’ll be a biblical woman if it kills me." (And it just might!)  

It wasn’t until I was twenty-two that this Marathon Girl ran out of smoke. You can read a bit of my Marathon Girl story here.

Marathon Girl, I’m here to tell you that you can’t do it. You can’t be a good Christian, a biblical woman on your own. You don’t have what it takes. Biblical womanhood is less about figuring out how to live in your role perfectly and more about loving the King. Not knowing about Jesus, but knowing Him. You don’t need to perform for Him—He already performed for you!

Will you turn in your running shoes and marathon gear today? Will you open your arms wide and let Christ clothe you with His righteous robes?  

The Monument Girl
The Monument Girl builds a monument to herself. She’s the girl who has the biblical womanhood thing down—except for one major thing. She’s forgotten that her womanhood is not about her, but about God. It’s about putting Christ and the gospel on display, not about looking down at others and elevating self.

Here’s a peek at an old Monument Girl journal entry I wrote:

Everything God has given me, I use as props in a giant, self-glorifying production. My beauty I use to draw men’s hearts after me. My piano-playing abilities I use to set myself above most other pianists. My speaking and writing I use to establish a name for myself. And all the time, I wrap this sin in a thin layer of spirituality. I wear modest clothes, but still long for men to remember my image on the back of their eyelids even after I’ve left the room. I sing and play songs of worship to God, while hoping that I don’t mess up on too many runs or trills. I pepper my speech with spiritual phrases. I am Paula, the masquerading servant of God, who really longs to be God, to have everyone worship and adore me. I am disgusted and sick of using spirituality to wow others. I long for a simple love affair between my Savior and me.

You might be light-years ahead of others. You may have this whole biblical womanhood thing down. But do you? Is everything you do and say motivated by the fact that you exist to put the spotlight on Jesus and His gospel? Or have you turned that spotlight and taken center stage? Have you gotten out tools and started building a monument to yourself?  

I’d love to know which of these three counterfeits you relate to most yourself. For me currently, it’s Monument Girl.

About Author

Paula Marsteller

Paula Marsteller no longer tries to catch guys' attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. (She's married to a wonderful man now!) She spends her days caring for her two young sons and seeking to practice "radically ordinary hospitality." She's the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, and she and her family live in Central New York. You can catch her writing on PaulaWrites.com.

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