I spent half of my life totally focused on serving the Lord and the other half totally focused on finding my man.
I was one of those “undistracted singles” who was totally distracted by marriage.
Somewhere in-between wanting to make the most of my single years and desiring to live an “undistracted life for Christ,” I got distracted. I wanted to serve Christ, but I also really wanted to get married. It wasn’t until my mid-to-late twenties that I finally understood and began to truly live out God’s call for my life.
You know that passage in 1 Corinthians 7 that talks about being married versus unmarried? Well, the apostle Paul (the author of the book) is unpacking the idea that the unmarried men and women have a unique availability to serve the Lord with an undistracted focus. Here’s what he said:
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord (vv. 32–35).
In other words, singleness provides a unique opportunity to focus completely on the Lord.
What I Wish I Knew
I wish that I had understood this sooner. It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I finally surrendered my “ideal plan for my life” to God and truly began living for Him.
Trusting God to work out my future (whether that meant marriage or not) became my new way of living. I daily surrendered my life to Him and asked Him to use me in whatever way He saw fit. I began pouring out my time, energy, and focus on serving Christ. Surrendering my future plans to God was one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done.
Single Girl, Where’s Your Focus?
If you’re single, I want to challenge you to take a few minutes to think about your life. Are you spending this unique season of your life totally focused on the Lord? If not, why not? What’s keeping you from using this incredible season of freedom to serve God fully?
Although I’m married now, I was single for thirty years. I know what it’s like to want to get married. I get the fears. I get the worries. I get the anxiety. I get the being a bridesmaid over and over and over again.
But I can tell you wholeheartedly that the best years of my single life were the years I lived all out for Christ. The less I focused on finding my man and the more I focused on living for Jesus, the more content and joy-filled I was.
I want the same for you. Don’t waste your single years pining for the future.
In Love Defined, I wrote two chapters to single women. I wrote those chapters while I was completely single. They come from a heart and life that relates to how you’re feeling.
As I write this chapter, I am still single. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have a valentine. I don’t have a man to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. It’s me and only me. Even with my complete and total singleness, I can honestly say that I’m not just surviving this season, but I am genuinely thriving. And it’s amazing.
That can be you. You can be a woman focused on Jesus rather than guys.
Because Christ is where true freedom and purpose is found.
Marriage is a good thing that God created. I love that so many single women desire marriage. My issue isn’t that so many single women desire this wonderful covenant of marriage; my problem is that we allow this desire to overtake our lives and waste these precious single years pining after the future.
Let’s choose to live more intentionally.
I want to hear from you now.
- What’s keeping you from living a totally undistracted life for Christ?
- How can you change this?