Sometimes I feel like my little friend Rachael. She loves to have fun and do whatever seems exciting and new. But often what Rachael wants isn’t what’s best. So her mom says, “No.” Nothing is more disappointing to her than getting her deepest desire denied. She doesn’t yet trust that her mom loves her and knows best—and that she can be satisfied with the options that are offered to her.
Often my own heart gets pulled toward what God, my good Father, has forbidden, and I wonder why. Father, why do I have attractions to other women? Why can’t I just be “normal” and stop feeling this way? How can You possibly meet these desires raging inside of me?
I don’t always know the why. But I do know the truth: I belong to Jesus, and His desire is for me. Take a look at this verse from the most passionate portion of the Bible, Song of Solomon:
I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:10)
Many Christians see this book as a song of Jesus’s love for His people. That perspective has been a real comfort to me. Though my desires sometimes feel overwhelming, the Bridegroom loves me with a love that is “strong as death” (Song 8:6). He wants to satisfy me fully with His good presence. So when my desires come knocking, I give them to Him and ask Him to help me experience His love. And you know what? Though it’s painful at times, He is always near with His compassionate, welcoming embrace.
If you are struggling with believing that Jesus is better than your own desires, I invite you to grab a pen and a journal and think about these questions:
- Do you believe that Jesus can satisfy you with His goodness? What are you afraid that you’ll miss out on by obeying His Word?
- What questions do you have for God? Speak them honestly to Him. He’s a good Father who listens.
- What desires do you need to surrender to God? Tell Him and ask Him to help you more deeply experience His love.
For another encouraging story of a woman who has experienced God’s love while wrestling with same-sex attraction, check out the book Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry. She has a faithful track record of finding joy in Jesus. Or, if you’d like to dig deeper into the Song of Solomon and Jesus’ love for you, pick up the helpful Bible study How to Fall and Stay in Love with Jesus from Revive Our Hearts.