Is he the one?

Imagine this:

A new guy starts coming to your youth group. He’s cute. I mean really, really cute. But that’s not the best thing about him. He loves Jesus! He helps in the church nursery. He plays in thecrush youth praise band. He knows the Bible. And then … he starts to pay attention to you. I know what question is coming next: “Is he the one?”

Been there … done that!

I love you girls. Have I told you that lately? One of the things I love most about you is how often I hear that you are committed to waiting on God’s timing for romance. You are trusting that He will bring you a great guy, suited to be your companion in His perfect timing. That’s so cool! But one thing I’ve noticed among girls who share that commitment—there’s a tendency to think that every Christian guy might be “the one” God has for you. That can take your heart on an emotional rollercoaster and lead you to link your life with any fella who makes regular appearances in church.

Let’s backtrack a bit here. We’ve covered the fact that Christians should only date and marry Christians a lot on the blog and in the book Lies Young Women Believe. But it’s so important I want to touch on it here again. Yep, I’m going to talk about yokes.

Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

In other words, making the choice to walk side by side with someone who doesn’t know Jesus just won’t work.

If we think about it, this truth is obvious. You will spend more time with your husband than almost anyone else in your life (including your parents and children). Imagine spending all of that time with someone who doesn’t know the Lord. What would you talk about? How would you weather the storms of life with someone who doesn’t depend on God for strength and insight? What would you teach your children?

But is that all that God requires of your future mates? Do they just need to say they are Christians and they automatically become good husband material? Does God’s Word have anything else to say on the subject?

We’re going to dedicate the entire week to exploring this topic. But before we get too far, I want to hear from you. Do you struggle with feeling like every Christian guy you meet might be “the one”? Has this ever caused you heartache? What requirements do you think potential husbands should have beyond being a Christian?

Let’s make it fun. I want you to write out a list of the qualities you want your future husband to have. Write Christian at the top, because that’s where I want you to start. But what is he beyond a follower of Christ? Go ahead and write your list in a comment below. Then stay tuned to see if the qualities you are looking for are mentioned in God’s Word.

About Author

Erin Davis is an author, blogger, and speaker who loves to see women of all ages run to the deep well of God’s Word. She is the author of many books and Bible studies including: 7 Feasts, Connected, Beautiful Encounters, and the My Name Is Erin series. She serves on the ministry team of Revive Our Hearts. When she’s not writing, you can find Erin chasing chickens and children on her small farm in the Midwest.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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