Why I’m Not Looking for Just a Husband

I am going to do something that I’ve never done in a blog post before. I’m going to open up my journal and share some completely personal things that I wrote down this past week.

I was sitting on my bed praying when I wrote it. As I was praying for my future husband, my mind started working, and I began truly thinking about what I was praying for. I wondered . . . am I praying for just a husband, or am I praying for something more? Do I just want to get married and have a man in my life to call “honey,” or do I want something bigger than that? Is my end goal to just get a guy?

A peek into my journal . . .

Here is what I wrote in my journal right after I finished praying:

“My life is not at all what I would have imagined, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I would not have guessed that I would be twenty-six and single, running a blog for young women, trying to publish a book, mentoring young women, directing AWANA, and still working in my dad’s business. I 100% thought I would be married . . .

“I trust that God must have a plan for my life beyond what I could have ever hoped or dreamed of. If I’m not married, I trust that God has a purpose so big for me right now! God is huge, and He could provide a husband if He wanted to.

“God, You are so big. You can do far more above all that I could ever ask or think. You parted the Red Sea, made Joseph of Egypt second in command, healed people, and turned water into wine. I trust that You can and will bring me a husband if it’s Your will.

“I do desire a godly husband, not just a husband.

“When people ask me if I want to get married, I say, “Absolutely! But not just for the sake of having a husband. I want to join forces and serve God in ways I couldn’t serve Him as a single. My goal is always the same. I want to serve God.”

I realized I wasn’t looking for just a husband.

I would rather remain single and serve God to the fullest over marrying a less-than-passionate-about-God guy just to get married.

That night I realized that I want so much more than just a husband. I want a godly husband. I want a husband who has a vision to serve the Lord and make an eternal impact with his life. My desires over the past couple of years have totally shifted. I went from just wanting a guy in my life, to desiring to marry a godly man who I can serve the Lord alongside of.

The truth is (and I never thought I would say this), I would rather remain single and serve God to the fullest over marrying a less-than-passionate-about-God guy just to get married.

Why you shouldn’t look for just a husband.

I want to challenge you to evaluate your desires and ask yourself what your dreams of the future are. Do you desire to get married just because you want a husband? Do you just want a guy in your life? Do you just want a boyfriend? (Any boyfriend!)

When I was younger, I used to think that relationships and marriage would just work out even if the couple wasn’t passionate about God, didn’t consistently go to church, or have solid spiritual convictions. I now realize that relationships don’t just work out. I’ve seen it on both sides. Great girls who settled for not-so-great guys, and it didn’t just work out. I’ve seen guys marry self-absorbed girls, and the relationship sadly didn’t last.

Ask God to help you desire a godly man.

I don’t want to marry a guy just because I want husband. In the big picture, it’s just not worth it. I’ve learned from watching other marriages that the fun and excitement and romance waxes and wanes. When that happens, I don’t want to wake up next to a man whose biggest goal in life is his own happiness. I want a guy who puts God at the top of his priority list.

I hope that you will start praying over the desires of your heart and ask God to help you desire a godly man. And don’t forget to pray that God will help you become the type of woman that a godly guy would want to marry.

Heart Check

  1. Are you looking for just a husband, or are you looking for a godly man?
  2. What character qualities should a godly guy have?
  3. What character qualities should a godly girl have?
  4. Will you pray and ask God to change the desires of your heart towards wanting a godly man and not just a husband?

About Author

Bethany Beal

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog (www.GirlDefined.com) and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

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