I Am Nothing Like My Mom

My beautiful wife and I enjoy the incredible opportunity to counsel starry-eyed lovebirds before they get married, and the best part is eating together and learning about couples as they tie the knot. At one of those premarital counseling breakfasts, we were discussing how each person reflects the influence of his/her parents, and almost immediately the bride-to-be piped up and emphatically stated, "I am NOTHING like my mom!"

You may think (or even hope) the same thing. Maybe you see things in your mom that you don’t like—physically, emotionally, socially, attitudinally, or spiritually—and resolve to be different, just like that young woman.

Truth is, you are more like your mom than you would even like to admit. Since birth your mom has been inwardly and outwardly influencing you, and whether or not you possess physical attributes of your mom, part of her is in you, both good and bad.

But many times there is this internal drive to prove "I am NOTHING like my mom!" which will either drive you insane or deepen the deception you are inflicting on yourself. At the heart of this statement lives pride, arrogance, and egotism. Not exactly what the gospel is about.

You were made in God’s likeness. You were made to reflect. That’s how the world sees and hears what God is like. That’s how culture is exposed to the redemptive gospel. When God walks with you, He is reflected in you. The same is true when other people walk with you, too. Scripture refers to that when it says, "Whoever walks with the wise will become wise" (Prov. 13:20).

The nice part of life is that you reflect the goodness of godly influences, and the ugly part of life is that you reflect the messiness of imperfect influences. The truth of the gospel is that God redeems. Maybe there are truly negative characteristics of your mom that you are carrying over into your life. Let God redeem them. Maybe you are not being truthful about how much you are like your mom because of fear. Let God redeem that fear. Maybe you don’t like yourself because you are reflecting negative aspects of your mom. Let God redeem your view of yourself.

That young bride hadn’t yet come to the full realization of her mom’s influence along with the redemptive work of the gospel. What about you? How are you similar to your mom? How is God redeeming those things in your life?

About Author

Brad Neese

Brad Neese is an evolving leader captivated by the child-like simplicity and the deep-ocean complexity of the Gospel. He is a graduate of Cedarville University & Dallas Theological Seminary and is currently a Student Ministry Pastor in southwest Michigan. One loving, godly, and nurturing woman graciously agreed to covenant with him in marriage over a decade ago, and out of all the 6.8 billion people in the world, only four get to call him ‘Dad.’ But above all this, Brad follows Jesus. No one else.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.