How to Handle Attraction

One of the biggest distractions a young woman can ever face is meeting a guy that she’s attracted to. Does this scenario sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been thriving in your relationship with Christ, fully satisfied in pouring your life out for Him and for others, and then you cross paths with a godly, single man and, wham! Suddenly, all your thoughts, attention, and emotions become centered around one thing—that guy.

As a single young woman, it’s not necessarily wrong to notice and appreciate the Christ-like qualities of a godly young man. But if you allow that attraction to overtake your thoughts and emotions, it can easily become an obsession that takes your focus off Christ.

Give Your Feelings to God

When you meet someone you are drawn to, it may be tempting to believe that you have no choice but to be consumed with thoughts about him every moment you are awake. (I know I certainly struggled with this problem when I was single!) But if you handle attraction right from the beginning, it doesn’t need to control you or distract you from your relationship with Christ.

No matter how attracted you are to someone, Jesus Christ is the only One who can truly meet your deepest needs.

The best thing you can do when you are attracted to a guy is to immediately give your feelings to God: “Lord, thank you for the qualities I see in this guy. Please take my emotions and guard them. Enable me to keep my heart protected for my future husband. If it is Your desire that I enter a relationship with this guy, then I leave the details in Your hands. May I not manipulate or grow impatient, but allow You to remain in complete control.”

Take Your Thoughts Captive

Secondly, learn to take your thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5). Like I said, it’s not wrong to notice or think about a guyʼs good qualities, but to continually dwell upon him day and night is not healthy for your mind, heart, or emotions. Ask God to enable you to keep your thoughts upon Jesus Christ—not upon a guy.

If you continually struggle with an “onslaught” of distracting thoughts about a guy, you can take some proactive steps to shift the pattern. The moment those thoughts come in, immediately start praying for someone in your life who needs Christ. This instantly turns your focus outward instead of inward and helps you keep your eyes on Jesus rather than on your romantic desires. Meditating on Scripture is another excellent way to center your thoughts upon Jesus Christ. When His truth is in the forefront of your mind, you are far less likely to allow your emotions to carry you away and distract you from Him.

Find Fulfillment in Christ

Remember, no matter how attracted you are to someone, Jesus Christ is the only One who can truly meet your deepest needs. Psalm 107:9 says, “He satisfies the longing soul.” If you are finding your fulfillment in Him, you will have everything you need for happiness and satisfaction—no matter what happens with the guy you are attracted to.

God cares more about your life and your desires than even you do. And, as it says in Psalm 138:8, He will be faithful to fulfill His loving purposes for your life as you put Him first in everything.

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About Author

Leslie Ludy is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for helping women become set-apart for Christ. She and her husband Eric have published nineteen books with well over a million copies in print and translations in over a dozen languages, including When God Writes Your Love Story, Authentic Beauty, Set Apart Femininity, and her newest book, Set Apart Motherhood. Eric and Leslie live in Windsor, Colorado with their four precious kiddos.

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