Four Secrets to Finding Godly Guys

I was recently in a coffee shop with a friend when the topic of godly guys came up. My friend was discouraged over the absence of godly guys in her circle of friends and general community.

I could totally relate, because I’ve been there. There have been times when I’ve wanted to cry out, “Are there any godly guys left in the world?”

God is still in the business of raising up godly guys and preparing them to be awesome husbands, fathers, and leaders in the future.

I’m so glad I no longer feel the need to cry out over a lack of godly guys. I personally know some and would love for you to say the same.

Over the past few years, God has opened my eyes to the fact that He is still working in guys’ lives just as much as He is working in girls’ lives. God is still in the business of raising up godly guys and preparing them to be awesome husbands, fathers, and leaders in the future.

How do I know? Because I see it happening firsthand. With three brothers (and a brother-in-law) ages thirty, twenty-six, twenty-three, and eighteen, I’ve been privileged to see God work in their lives as well as in their friends’ lives.

I see them digging into Scripture, having challenging conversations, keeping each other accountable, guarding their eyes, loving their siblings, and respecting the girls around them.

Why do I share this? Because I have a hunch many of you girls are feeling exactly like my friend at the coffee shop. You want to cry out, “Are there any godly guys left in the world?” Hold up! Before you get yourself into a tizzy, let me offer you some more encouragement.

Here are my secrets to finding truly Christ-focused guy and girl friends.

Evaluate your current group of friends.

The righteous choose their friends carefully (Prov. 12:26).

When I hear girls crying out over the lack of godly guys, I can’t help but wonder about their closest friends. I want to challenge you to evaluate your current hangout spots and close groups of friends. Maybe it’s time to involve yourself in a more serious Christ-focused Bible study. Maybe it’s time to get involved in a ministry that is focused on working hard to serve others.

I challenge you to take a good look at your current friends and ask yourself if they are serious about God’s Word and serving Him. If not, it may be time to get involved in a church group or ministry that would provide these types of friends.

Evaluate your own character.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness (2 Pet. 1:5–6).

There’s an old saying that goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Could it be that you are “flocking together” with guys and girls who are similar to you? Maybe you aren’t finding Christ-focused guy friends because you’re not being a Christ-focused girl. Ask yourself:

  • What do I spend the majority of my time on each day?
  • How often do I study the Bible?
  • What topics dominate the majority of my conversations?
  • How are my family relationships?

I have a feeling your answers and your friends’ answers would be very similar. If you make some changes and get more serious about God’s Word, family relationships and purposeful Christ-focused conversations, you may just find yourself migrating toward people who are doing the same.

Find a ministry and get involved.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33).

I’ve noticed a lot of solid Christian guys spend time serving. Whether it’s with summer Bible programs, feeding the homeless, standing and praying in front of abortion clinics, or sharing the gospel on college campuses, godly guys tend to be there. The key: make sure it’s a ministry that involves hard work and pushes you out of your comfort zone. Those tend to attract those truly interested in serving Christ.

Now I’m not saying you should get involved in ministry with the sole purpose of meeting guys. You should take some time to pray and research in order to find the ministry God wants you to serve in. Seeking His Kingdom should always be our main purpose.

Get on your knees and pray.

Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thess. 5:17–18).

If you truly desire to have solid Christ-focused friendships with guys but seriously can’t find any, it’s time to pray. Get on your knees and ask God to provide a ministry or Bible study you can get involved with. Pray for God to grow and mature the guys in your community. Pray that God would open your eyes to your own immaturities and weaknesses. Ultimately God is in control and He knows exactly who and what you need in your life. There is no better place to take your concerns than to His throne.

I hope you have found these four “secrets” an encouragement. For me, it’s always encouraging to see that godly guys do exist. But it wasn’t until I started applying these four points to my life that I finally found serious Christ-focused guys. I think you’ll discover that the same is true for you as well.

How about you?

Can you relate to my friend at the beginning of the story?

Do you have any godly guy friends?

Are you encouraged when you see a guy who genuinely loves the Lord?

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About Author

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog ( and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

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