Fighting Your Romantic Fantasies

As I read through the comments on a recent blog post of mine “Serena’s Secret Sin,” I couldn’t help but notice a common struggle with sexual sin. I was proud of you girls for admitting to your struggle as well as your desire to find biblical guidance in this area. Although many of you mentioned struggling with sins like masturbation and pornography, today’s post will focus mainly on sexual fantasies. I want to share with you some truths that I have learned and how I have applied them in my own life.

Are you struggling with impure sexual thoughts? Do you lay awake at night imagining the perfect romance story? Do you dream of yourself being sexually involved with your crush?

Whatever your specific sin struggle may be, the Bible has the answers to every single one of your struggles. Let’s go through some basic truths that will help you in your fight against impure sexual thoughts.

1. Our “secret fantasies” are not secret. Every thought, action, and word is laid bare before the eyes of God. “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Heb. 4:13).

2. God commands us to live without a hint of sexual impurity in our lives. That would include our thoughts. “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Eph. 5:3).

3. The Bible gives clear direction on what our thoughts should be focused on. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).

According to those verses, God is very serious about avoiding even a hint of sexual immorality. Instead of excusing our sin as small or not a big a deal, let’s choose to view sexual sin the way that God does. Are you ready to get serious about making changes in your own life? Do you truly desire success in this area?

Here are a few practical examples of changes that I made in my own life in order to do what it takes to live out God’s standards in this area:

  • I went throughout my entire bedroom and threw away anything that tempted me in my struggle to maintain pure thoughts. That included movies, magazines, books, music, websites, and anything else that fueled my impure fantasies.
  • I memorized Psalm 51:10, which says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” I recite this verse any time I am tempted with an impure thought.
  • I purpose to read Scripture at night before I fall asleep. That helps me keep my thoughts focused on the truth.

What changes can you make in your own life to help avoid the temptation to have impure thoughts? What has been helpful to you in fighting off sexual fantasies? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

About Author

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog ( and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

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