Don’t Pull a Rapunzel

I’d love to have a big sis chat with you today. I don’t have any “real” sisters to take under my wing, but all my sisters in Christ (you!) are just as fabulous as the real deal!

So big sis Samantha is going to ask you to do something. Pretend we’re nestled on a cozy couch with big bowls of ice cream—your favorite flavor. We might even have some sort of green, homemade face mask plastered on our faces. Chocolate is definitely involved. And we’re going to watch a way cute Disney movie, Tangled.

Go ahead, hit play!

Wait! I hit pause! Why?
Because I don’t want you to pull a Rapunzel.

Now, let me explain before you start to think I’m anti-Rapunzel. (Trust me, I cried my heart out when I first watched Tangled. That lantern scene? Tear jerker.)

I just think that many well-meaning, Christian young women fall into the “When Will My Life Begin?” Trap.

Here’s how it goes:

We learn that God has a plan for our love stories. He does! He has planned something that’s way greater, way better, way perfect-er than what we’ve ever imagined. (See Jer. 29:11)

But we take that knowledge about God and the hope of a beautiful, heaven-written romance . . . and we sit in our tower and wait. And wait.
When will my own Flynn Rider scale the wall and whisk me away from my tower?

We let out huge dreamy sigh after huge dreamy sigh.

And we keep on wonderin’ and wonderin’ and wonderin’ and wonderin’, When will my life begin?

That’s pulling a Rapunzel—thinking our lives haven’t begun until our husband-to-be comes along. It isn’t wrong to patiently wait for God to allow a man to enter our lives, but it is wrong to think our lives haven’t begun until he arrives.

What does living in a tower look like?

Let’s hop out of Rapunzel’s kingdom for a sec and get practical.
You could be pulling a Rapunzel if . . .

  • You spend hours watching proposal videos on YouTube—with a box of tissues. (Guilty!)
  • You get depressed after watching a movie with a fairy tale plot. You want that to happen to you, too . . .
  • You think you won’t have any fun until you finally have that guy in your life.
  • Your wedding Pinterest board is teeming, no—utterly overflowing—with pins.
  • You’re devastated when a potential relationship falls through. You thought you’d finally be rescued from your tower . . .

I’m here to tell you—your life has begun. God can do big, huge, impacting things through you, with a prince by your side or without one.

First Corinthians 2:9 says, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.”
We can’t imagine the things God has prepared for us! Now, read that verse again. Did it say God is waiting to enact His plan until you’re dating? Married? No way! He wants us to be effective members of the Kingdom today.

So, how do I live outside of the tower?

A big sis doesn’t just leave her girls hanging. How can you stop pulling a Rapunzel? Become an Active Princess in Waiting.

Allow me to explain who this fantastic and Jesus-loving Active Princess in Waiting is.
She does 3 things:

  1. She falls in love with her Jesus. (Matt. 22:36–38)
    Loving the Lord with all our mind, heart, and strength is commanded in Scripture—it’s the greatest commandment, in fact. Having a deep, devoted, intimate relationship with your Savior is far greater than anything in this life, so you’ll never, ever go wrong by pursuing Him. And you never have to wait to start cultivating that relationship!
  2. She’s got skills! (Prov. 31:10–31)
    While Rapunzel lamented about her horribly “boring” and “mundane” life, she actually had lots going for her! She was a killer baker, a speed reader, she sewed, she cleaned, she painted—my goodness, she knew ventriloquy and candle making! While you’re a princess in waiting, get active. Take a cooking class. Ask your dad to teach you to change a tire. Let your grandma teach you to knit. Make some candles! Whatever you do, make each day count and learn something new.
  3. She makes it her goal to be a godly woman—not to find a man. (Matt. 6:33)
    Instead of focusing on the hunk of a man that could be out there, focus on your daily, personal walk with Christ. I used to get so caught up in what kind of prince charming I wanted that I would neglect my own growth. What can you do? Attend your youth group, forget the guys for a while, and get to know the girls there. Invest in someone younger than yourself. Ask a leader about starting a teen girls’ Bible study (We love Girls Gone Wise  and Lies Young Women Believe, of course!) Begin a prayer journal, and commit to praying for five people every day. The list goes on!So, you’ve finished your ice cream. Are you raising your hand, saying, “That’s me! I’ve been pulling a Rapunzel!” Or are you pursuing Active Princess in Waiting status?Well, sister, I’d love to hear from you. Will you commit to any (or all!) of the 3 Active Princess in Waiting tips? If so, let me know by leaving a comment below!

About Author

Samantha Nieves

Samantha loves lazy lake days, strong coffee, and writing about the ways Jesus transforms our everyday messes into beautiful stories. She digs the four seasons in northern Indiana, is probably wearing a Notre Dame crew neck, and serves as the social media manager on the Revive Our Hearts staff.

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