Dear Single Lady,
Sometimes it feels like we’re the only ones left in the world. Like all the other single girls have dropped like flies and gotten into relationships—especially on the holidays.
Those days we turn off Instagram so we don’t see the bouquets every other girl has received. The ever-present reminder that we, out of all the other people in the world, are still single. The days we hide every hope and dream under a thick layer of sarcasm and cynicism, pretending we don’t really care about our relationship status on Facebook.
I’m with you.
Your heavenly Father sees these beautiful, hidden desires of your heart. In fact, He placed them there. They’re not wrong; they’re not something to be ashamed of; they’re something to celebrate.
As a little girl, I fell in love with the idea of finding Prince Charming and getting some major bling on my left ring finger as soon as possible, thank you very much. By age twenty, I intended to be married and on my way to the mission field in China. Well, here I am in New York, just a few weeks before my twenty-eighth birthday. (Feel free to send gluten-free cookies in the mail with a birthday card.) Funny how time flies, and here I am with no ring on my finger.
Oddly enough, I’m finally okay with that.
Girls, here’s what I long to share with you, the truths that have brought comfort to my soul: Our dreams of romance and forever love are beautiful desires. They’re not something we have to discard to pretend we’re happy being single. They’re something to celebrate and surrender.
But our dream of a happily ever after starts NOW, not later.
We’ve heard this a hundred times, but it’s true! All my life I waited for my husband, thinking life and happiness would start when he showed up. (Preferably wrapped in a sparkly, pink package labeled: “To Tiffany. From God. Contains ‘The One.'”) I didn’t see the moments I was already living as truly happy, truly full. Why? Because I didn’t trust my heavenly Father.
If there’s one thing I long for all of you to know, it’s this: The One who holds our future in His hands—He is GOOD.
I never trusted God. I didn’t really think He cared for me, not enough, anyway. I thought, Surely You need my help finding my husband. Surely I need to take this in my own hands and stress and worry about it! But the truth is . . . He is GOOD, and He is sovereign. Matthew 6 says not to worry about tomorrow, but to live fully today, knowing the One who holds our future. Knowing He cares even for the birds of the air enough to feed and house them. How much more does He care for us!
This birthday will be so different than other birthdays I’ve experienced.
Most of my life I’ve written a sappy, sobbing love letter to my future husband. That’s great, but it didn’t help my heart very much. I just found myself focused on what I didn’t have, when I should have been focused on what I did have.: Friends. Family. Job. Passion. Joy. And above all else, I have a heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Ps. 50:10), who is sovereign over all of life (Acts 4:24), and who sees me (Gen. 16:3). He knows me (John 10:14–15). He loves me (Jer. 31:3) more deeply and fully than I could ever imagine.
So to all you single ladies, this is what I would say: Your heavenly Father sees these beautiful, hidden desires of your heart. In fact, He placed them there. They’re not wrong; they’re not something to be ashamed of; they’re something to celebrate.
But He also sees beyond our time frame. He sees the whole picture, a greater plan. His ways are higher than ours. And right here, right now, even in the waiting, we can rejoice in what we already have.
We can rejoice knowing the One who holds our hearts is faithful, trustworthy, and loves us more than we can ever imagine. I pray that today you would come closer than ever before to your heavenly Father and know that He cares for you. He’s already given you a happily ever after. It’s already started. It’s up to us that we live in it.