One "Lies Young Women Believe" reader opens up about finding freedom from the need for a boyfriend.
Here’s one of my beefs with this series…it seems that focusing on Bella and Edward’s romance can lead to an unholy fantasy life. I’ve personally witnessed what can only be touted asvEdwardmania among many of the young women I know. Edward (the story’s vampire protagonist) is admired by young women as the ultimate standard for a boyfriend.
There is one question that has been asked on this blog more than any other—are crushes okay? It seems that many of you are serious about your commitment to remain physically pure until your wedding day, but that hasn’t stopped your heart from racing when a certain fella walks into the room. And you’re wondering “are these feelings okay?”
I’ve read your questions, and realized that this is an important topic for many of you, but I’ve stayed silent for one big reason—I wasn’t sure how to answer. If I’m being honest, I have to admit that I feel as conflicted as many of you seem to.
According to a recent study, “ teens may be replacing intercourse with more alternatives they perceive as safer. For example more than 50 percent of U.S. teens ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex. This number increases to almost 70 percent for those who are 18 and 19.
And it doesn’t stop there. The girls we talked to admitted that while they weren’t having sex, they didn’t see much harm in being sexual through the way that they dressed, the way they communicated with boys (even those who were “just friends”) and the way they presented themselves through text-messaging and online.
Lately, there has been some discussion on this blog about whether or not it is okay for Christians to date non-Christians. We encountered this same conversation over and over as we did research for Lies Young Women Believe. In fact this is one of the 25 lies addressed directly in the book.
The girls involved in the research phase of this book told us things like:
• “ I really want to marry a Christian, but I’m not looking for marriage right now, so I don’t really care.”
• “ I don’t really think it matters if the guys I date are Christians or not. For one, we’re just in high school. I don’t really think that religion is an issue right now.”
• “ If you plant a seed, it can make a beautiful flower. You’re spreading God’s word, whether it works out or not. If you can compromise, think about it…you can impact a non-Christian.”
Some of you have made similar comments here on the blog. Specifically, it seems that some of you are wondering if it’s okay to date non-Christians. The short answer to your question is no. God’s Word urges us not to link our lives with non-believers and the consequences of choosing to do otherwise can be disastrous.
Recently, several of you have been duking it out right here on the blog about the topic of fashion—specifically cleavage! Many of you are adamant that low cut shirts and short skirts are fine. Others disagree. In fact, the debate has gotten so heated; that many of your comments haven’t made the blog because the way you presented your arguments was enough to make me blush (and believe me, I am not easily shocked or embarrassed).
What’s interesting is that so much debate has been sparked on a topic that we barely mention in the book. But we certainly do want you understand the truth about modesty and the destructive power of immodesty. So, let’s talk about it.
Dannah Gresh is the co-author of “Lies Young Women Believe. She is also the author of “Secret Keeper” a little book that has a lot to say about this subject. She addressed these very issues in an article for Brio Magazine several years ago. Let’s take a look.