Are You A People Pleaser?

On some level, each of us wants to please the people around us. People pleasing seems to be stamped into our DNA, especially as girls. However, working too hard to please others can be like stepping into a trap. More on that tomorrow . . . for now, I’d like to get the wheels in your head turning as you think about how important it is for to you to please or impress others.

So let’s kick this week off with a little quiz. (No worries—you get an automatic A++ just for participating!)

Check out the questions below, and leave us a comment with your answers. But before you start, let me give you one rule—don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. I’m not interested in hearing the “right” answers or dialoging in Christianese. That’s the kind of people pleasing stuff that gets us all into hot water from time to time.


Ready. Set. Think!

  1. You have a HUGE assignment due tomorrow. Your best friend calls and begs you to go to the basketball game with her. Do you . . .
    a. Explain that you have to stay home and finish your work but promise to join her next time.
    b. Blow off your assignment and go to the game.
    c. Agree to go to the basketball game and then stay up all night finishing your assignment.
    d. Stay home to do homework, but worry constantly that you’ve disappointed your friend.

  2. Your schedule is already full, and your pastor approaches you and asks you to volunteer once a week in the church nursery. You are not particularly passionate about children and you are already involved in several ministries that do match your gifts. Do you . . .
    a. Tell your pastor thanks but no thanks.
    b. Agree to work in the nursery but fail to follow through.
    c. Agree to work in the nursery and spend months frustrated by the time commitment and stressed because you feel stretched too thin.
  3. Taking time for yourself makes you feel . . .
    a. Refreshed
    b. Guilty
    c. Selfish
  4. When you find out someone doesn’t like you, what do you do?
    a. Do whatever it takes to change that person’s mind. (AKA get them to love you!)
    b. Not worry about it.
    c. Go to that person and try to talk to them about why they don’t like you.
  5. When you do something nice for someone else do you . . .
    a. Hope they are blessed.
    b. Hope they think you are amazing.
    c. Hope they see your generosity as a reflection of your faith.

Tomorrow, we will open up the Word to see what God says about people pleasing. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you. Looking back at your answers, do you see yourself as a people pleaser?

About Author

Erin Davis is an author, blogger, and speaker who loves to see women of all ages run to the deep well of God’s Word. She is the author of many books and Bible studies including: 7 Feasts, Connected, Beautiful Encounters, and the My Name Is Erin series. She serves on the ministry team of Revive Our Hearts. When she’s not writing, you can find Erin chasing chickens and children on her small farm in the Midwest.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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