Are Guys More Selfish?

Picture this: three ladies are huddled in a corner of a crowded room, talking about life, love, and their husbands. After one woman describes her faulty marriage, another attempts to give “wise counsel” and says, “Honey, what do you expect?! Men are more selfish than women!”

That situation actually happened, and it really got me thinking, Are men more selfish than women? If so, then it would mean that girls are less selfish than guys. Hmmm.

Rather than debate if guys are more selfish than girls, I think that those women just wanted to feel what all females want to feel—loved. After all,

Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth (1 Cor. 13:4–6).

The reality is, though, that guys will not love you perfectly. They are not capable of that. There is only One who can love you with a perfect love. So why demand that someone do something which they can’t? The gospel shows us that God Himself, the Holy Spirit, produces love that flows in and through people. Loving perfectly is not something for guys to attain, but something for God to do in and through all the guys in your life (dad, brother, boyfriend, etc.).

Do you find yourself talking about how imperfectly a guy loves you? What would a better response be?

About Author

Brad Neese

Brad Neese is an evolving leader captivated by the child-like simplicity and the deep-ocean complexity of the Gospel. He is a graduate of Cedarville University & Dallas Theological Seminary and is currently a Student Ministry Pastor in southwest Michigan. One loving, godly, and nurturing woman graciously agreed to covenant with him in marriage over a decade ago, and out of all the 6.8 billion people in the world, only four get to call him ‘Dad.’ But above all this, Brad follows Jesus. No one else.

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