From the LYWB.com Team: We love it when LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com readers become LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com writers! It gives our hearts the warmest of fuzzies to see you using your words to point young women toward God’s truth. That’s why we are delighted to introduce you to several guest bloggers this week. These are young women, just like you, who are using their gifts to expose lies and point others toward God’s truth. Be sure to give them a warm welcome along with your thoughts about their post in the comment section.
We all know lying is wrong. But what about lying to yourself? Specifically, what about lying to yourself about dating?
This proved to be a new concept to me when I was a teenager. I did not know a person could manipulate themselves when it came to dating and their motivation for being in a relationship. Through my dating life, I came across three ideas that I constantly believed and eventually recognized as lies. Hopefully by sharing with you, it will keep you from believing them, too.
Lie #1: I can change him.
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Gal. 2:20).
This verse shows that anyone who has given their life to God has been changed; they live by faith in Jesus. Any person you date should already be living this way. However, sometimes it becomes tempting to think you can change someone to make them come to God, grow closer to God, or be a better person.
The dating field is not the mission field.
Truth: Only God can lead a person to change. Nowhere in the Bible does God tell us to date someone so we can change them. The dating field is not the mission field. Don’t date anyone with the mindset that you can change their behavior. It’s is impossible; it will leave you miserable and sorely disappointed.
Lie #2: I can help him reach his potential.
You see a guy that could be so much more than what he is. You think you can inspire him to tap into what God has given him, and he will excel. I’ve been there. As much as we may wish we could help someone tap into their potential, it is nearly impossible for outside factors to influence someone to do this; that desire must come from within in response to God’s Word and the Holy Spirit.
See someone for who they are, and leave the transformation up to God.
Believing this lie will cause you to put up with all kinds of nonsense in hopes of reaching this person. You’ll convince yourself that you’re not necessarily trying to change them; you’re trying to get them to learn more about themselves and unleash what’s already there.
Truth: Don’t see a guy through the lens of his potential. See someone for who they are, and leave the transformation up to God.
Lie #3: If he won’t pursue me, I should pursue him.
It has become acceptable for girls to take over the pursuit. We pursue a guy, we plan everything, and the guy is required to put forth minimal to no effort.
The truth is that guys will put time, effort, and money into things that are important to them. If they put time, energy, and money toward things that are not you, they are not interested. It’s that simple.
Knowing that you can unknowingly lie to yourself when you date will help you in your relationships. It will keep you from believing thoughts that will only waste your time and hurt you in the end.
Have you ever believed any of these lies? Are there more we should add to the list? Let us know below!